Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Contradicting Mirror (4/30)

Contradicting Mirror

I'm closed off
Yet I'm
Hate vulnerability
Yet I'm
An emotional wreck
A perfectionist by design
But I've been
Bred thru a world of imperfect falsehoods

I feel a lot
Til my
Heart bleeds but
I refuse to hurt again

I see what's what
Yet I'm
Blind and blocked and
Find myself spending time filling the empty spaces with
Hope and love

Or is it that I have hope for love?
Imperfections are more than
Perfections are only slightly less than
The mean

Or do I mean
That I just hope
That my love can
Fill the time and space
And gaps of
Emptiness and depression
With an overall feeling of
Contented happiness?

I doubt it.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Free Prisoner (3/30)

She's a busybody
A self-proclaimed "SuperWoman"
She cooks, cleans, and takes care of others
She's talented, intelligent, and gifted
She holds a college degree and an important job and recently received a promotion for her efforts
She's got it all.

People compliment her striking outside beauty and take notice of her attraction within.
She's strong and willing
She's confident and a healthy mix of selfish and selfless
And people see...but they don't.

They see the masks she wears for the public eye
They see the time she takes out but don't realize its all part of a big lie
Yes she's all you think she may be
But at the same token, she's more
More than you've ever bargained for, from the bookkeeping of a reserved store

She's happy but not satisfied
Fulfilled in all aspects of life still seem to leave her with an empty soul
She's whole and complete and can stand on her own 2 feet
But something deep within leaves her unable to conquer the invisible and intangible feat.

Depression and Insomnia are 2 friends she has but never knew she needed
They show up at her mental doorstep every now and again
Unannounced and definitely uninvited
And always come w/a set of luggage she can never house
Yet they don't take a hint.

They'll leave when they're ready
Their favorite games are hide and seek, peek-a-boo and freeze tag
At times they play w/each other but never without her
Against her will

She's a prisoner still.
Of the free variety.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"Blessed" (haiku) 2/30

"Blessed". 2/30 of the 30/30 exercise

Blessed is me. And you.
Together. Combined. As one.
Strength + Love = Blessed is us.

Monday, December 14, 2009

insomnia: Redux

(This is Part 2 of my Insomnia poem I posted here a while ago).....I am also participating in a 30/30 w/one of my friends + a group of other writers. In addition, I'm presently posting this piece from my SlimBerry. We'll see how this goes :). Enjoy!

Insomnia: Redux!


I'm still--
Nocturnally unbalanced and unfulfilled
My mind's clouded and reeled
Going back and forth between my mental and reality-----How do I deal?

Or at least at a sufficient pace?
Or speed--not to fast to reach an irreversible mode of insanity but just quick enough to erase

Or temporarily put to rest
The things on my mind that's heavily weighing
During the wee hours as I'm constantly contemplating
The equation that's to measure and equal my thoughts [divided by] sleep [to equal] me being at my best

But as I can attest
I tend to reach a 'peak' or 'prime' or 'record best'
When my body's a bit weary, my mind's busy and fried, there's a million things for me to do, and I'm stressed beyond deny

They say sleep keeps us functioning and up to speed
I say I've never really claimed the "Normalcy"
...Of those "theys"--couldnt sympathize with those needs
I'm "weird" and Insanity's a friend of mine
Genius is my homie and the trio of us is quite divine....