Spoon-Fed (1/30)

I wanna write about you
But I'm right about you
Conflicts with my frontal as I battle a heart that'll bleed out its cavity
And onto the floor

Still, I...

....I wanna hold you
Mold you--through the dry spells where you break and I phlebotomize
I wonder and hypothesize
Not of the realness we possess but the tests given and the ratio of pass/fail
And margin of error

...United stand
Apart fall
Fell
Failed
Fail

Wait and anticipate a ringing sensation that isn't just orgasmic
But also beautifully tragic....

April's 30/30....

Wow! Its really been 3 month since I've posted here, huh? Fact is....aside from having so much going on, its also harder for me to write anything marginally good when everything in Life is going well. May not make much sense but I def work best when ubder pressure, when I'm "feeling some kinda way"...when I'm down out and depressed. For the most part, I've been too happy to construct anything "meaningful",but....

Its now springtime and April, which all translates to it being Poetry Month. So of course this means......New 30/30. I slacked terribly last time on the 30/30, but I'm going to put forth a greater effort this go round. Just watch.....

Ms_Slom :)

Untimed Change 5/30

Untimed Change (5/30)


New year
Same me
Time changes
But changes aren't timed

Goals can be set
Closets cleaned
Resolutions renewed
And expectations heightened
But I'm me
And time changes
But changes aren't timed

Masterpieces have no deadlines
Brilliance can't be rushed
Or forcibly created
With the man-made structure of "time" as a sole reason of motivation
Cuz yes, time changes
But changes aren't timed

People said 'Things will be fine in 2009'
And it's: "My Life Begins in 2010"
I see the method in the madness...
...And the moot

Pursue that goal or dream
Drop that weight
Pay down that debt
Create your own contractual terms
Obligatory motives make for decreased motivation..
...And a lack of responsibility held

Keep in mind:
Time changes
But changes aren't timed



HAPPY NEW YEAR, Everyone!!!!

Contradicting Mirror (4/30)

Contradicting Mirror



I'm closed off
Yet I'm
Open
Hate vulnerability
Yet I'm
An emotional wreck
A perfectionist by design
But I've been
Bred thru a world of imperfect falsehoods

I feel a lot
Til my
Heart bleeds but
I refuse to hurt again
Love
Again

I see what's what
Yet I'm
Blind and blocked and
Find myself spending time filling the empty spaces with
Hope and love

Or is it that I have hope for love?
Imperfections are more than
Average
Perfections are only slightly less than
The mean

Or do I mean
That I just hope
That my love can
Fill the time and space
And gaps of
Emptiness and depression
With an overall feeling of
Contented happiness?

I doubt it.

Free Prisoner (3/30)

She's a busybody
A self-proclaimed "SuperWoman"
She cooks, cleans, and takes care of others
She's talented, intelligent, and gifted
She holds a college degree and an important job and recently received a promotion for her efforts
She's got it all.

People compliment her striking outside beauty and take notice of her attraction within.
She's strong and willing
She's confident and a healthy mix of selfish and selfless
And people see...but they don't.

They see the masks she wears for the public eye
They see the time she takes out but don't realize its all part of a big lie
Yes she's all you think she may be
But at the same token, she's more
More than you've ever bargained for, from the bookkeeping of a reserved store

She's happy but not satisfied
Fulfilled in all aspects of life still seem to leave her with an empty soul
She's whole and complete and can stand on her own 2 feet
But something deep within leaves her unable to conquer the invisible and intangible feat.

Depression and Insomnia are 2 friends she has but never knew she needed
They show up at her mental doorstep every now and again
Unannounced and definitely uninvited
And always come w/a set of luggage she can never house
Yet they don't take a hint.

They'll leave when they're ready
Their favorite games are hide and seek, peek-a-boo and freeze tag
At times they play w/each other but never without her
Against her will

She's a prisoner still.
Of the free variety.

"Blessed" (haiku) 2/30

"Blessed". 2/30 of the 30/30 exercise


Blessed is me. And you.
Together. Combined. As one.
Strength + Love = Blessed is us.

insomnia: Redux

(This is Part 2 of my Insomnia poem I posted here a while ago).....I am also participating in a 30/30 w/one of my friends + a group of other writers. In addition, I'm presently posting this piece from my SlimBerry. We'll see how this goes :). Enjoy!


Insomnia: Redux!

Dammit!

I'm still--
Nocturnally unbalanced and unfulfilled
My mind's clouded and reeled
Going back and forth between my mental and reality-----How do I deal?

.....Adequately?
Or at least at a sufficient pace?
Or speed--not to fast to reach an irreversible mode of insanity but just quick enough to erase

Or temporarily put to rest
The things on my mind that's heavily weighing
During the wee hours as I'm constantly contemplating
The equation that's to measure and equal my thoughts [divided by] sleep [to equal] me being at my best

But as I can attest
I tend to reach a 'peak' or 'prime' or 'record best'
When my body's a bit weary, my mind's busy and fried, there's a million things for me to do, and I'm stressed beyond deny

They say sleep keeps us functioning and up to speed
I say I've never really claimed the "Normalcy"
...Of those "theys"--couldnt sympathize with those needs
I'm "weird" and Insanity's a friend of mine
Genius is my homie and the trio of us is quite divine....