Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Contradicting Mirror (4/30)

Contradicting Mirror

I'm closed off
Yet I'm
Hate vulnerability
Yet I'm
An emotional wreck
A perfectionist by design
But I've been
Bred thru a world of imperfect falsehoods

I feel a lot
Til my
Heart bleeds but
I refuse to hurt again

I see what's what
Yet I'm
Blind and blocked and
Find myself spending time filling the empty spaces with
Hope and love

Or is it that I have hope for love?
Imperfections are more than
Perfections are only slightly less than
The mean

Or do I mean
That I just hope
That my love can
Fill the time and space
And gaps of
Emptiness and depression
With an overall feeling of
Contented happiness?

I doubt it.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Free Prisoner (3/30)

She's a busybody
A self-proclaimed "SuperWoman"
She cooks, cleans, and takes care of others
She's talented, intelligent, and gifted
She holds a college degree and an important job and recently received a promotion for her efforts
She's got it all.

People compliment her striking outside beauty and take notice of her attraction within.
She's strong and willing
She's confident and a healthy mix of selfish and selfless
And people see...but they don't.

They see the masks she wears for the public eye
They see the time she takes out but don't realize its all part of a big lie
Yes she's all you think she may be
But at the same token, she's more
More than you've ever bargained for, from the bookkeeping of a reserved store

She's happy but not satisfied
Fulfilled in all aspects of life still seem to leave her with an empty soul
She's whole and complete and can stand on her own 2 feet
But something deep within leaves her unable to conquer the invisible and intangible feat.

Depression and Insomnia are 2 friends she has but never knew she needed
They show up at her mental doorstep every now and again
Unannounced and definitely uninvited
And always come w/a set of luggage she can never house
Yet they don't take a hint.

They'll leave when they're ready
Their favorite games are hide and seek, peek-a-boo and freeze tag
At times they play w/each other but never without her
Against her will

She's a prisoner still.
Of the free variety.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"Blessed" (haiku) 2/30

"Blessed". 2/30 of the 30/30 exercise

Blessed is me. And you.
Together. Combined. As one.
Strength + Love = Blessed is us.

Monday, December 14, 2009

insomnia: Redux

(This is Part 2 of my Insomnia poem I posted here a while ago).....I am also participating in a 30/30 w/one of my friends + a group of other writers. In addition, I'm presently posting this piece from my SlimBerry. We'll see how this goes :). Enjoy!

Insomnia: Redux!


I'm still--
Nocturnally unbalanced and unfulfilled
My mind's clouded and reeled
Going back and forth between my mental and reality-----How do I deal?

Or at least at a sufficient pace?
Or speed--not to fast to reach an irreversible mode of insanity but just quick enough to erase

Or temporarily put to rest
The things on my mind that's heavily weighing
During the wee hours as I'm constantly contemplating
The equation that's to measure and equal my thoughts [divided by] sleep [to equal] me being at my best

But as I can attest
I tend to reach a 'peak' or 'prime' or 'record best'
When my body's a bit weary, my mind's busy and fried, there's a million things for me to do, and I'm stressed beyond deny

They say sleep keeps us functioning and up to speed
I say I've never really claimed the "Normalcy"
...Of those "theys"--couldnt sympathize with those needs
I'm "weird" and Insanity's a friend of mine
Genius is my homie and the trio of us is quite divine....

Monday, October 26, 2009

Beautiful Lie

Beautiful Lie........

Written: 16 Aug 2009

He sees a promising "us"
A world inspired by much
Encompassed in little to no fuss
A life treated with delicate care and a tender touch
And all the embodiments of a life complete:

It's his "us"

She feels her connection with him is real
The flame ignited between the two of them is all she can truly feel
She moves forward and continues to progress in life but it's only for him would she retreat and reel...
...back to him if he leaves or they part off their much complicated emotional wheel
Her heart is locked to all, but for him, it's unlocked and open for him to steal

When the mirrors are removed and the smoke clears
The mental unclogs and the picture unsmears
What seams far fetched and distant is brought to the forefront, out from the rear

Our own perceptions can take over reality, filling our own heads with lies
Lies so beautiful we can't trust our own minds
The truth is plan to see but our brains make it a near impossibility

If we trust our eyes we'll see that Life's truth isn't far away, tucked down, or left behind
It's oftentimes right in front of our faces; we just can't be afraid to explore what lies inside the depth of our eyes versus the desire hidden within the back of our minds

Mal S

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

No Pity Party

No Pity Party

In my gloom, come ride with me…or I with you
Take me onto a journey far from my person
An out of body experience would be most appreciated
But por favor, no pity parties

Let’s not bring up the shortcoming I have
Or make mention of my black cloud that’s lingering
It’ll go away once we focus on you…and “us”
And other elements of the outside world
But alas…no pity parties

Let’s not talk about me today
But if by chance I need to vent, all I ask is that you please just be that ear with no mouth
No comforting words or questions plugging for a solution to my problem
No need to try and relate to make me feel so un-alone. It won’t work because I relish in my uniqueness
Allow me to speak, but again—no pity parties

If I’ve vented, let’s move on and erase my day in ice cream
Or a walk on the beach
Perhaps the hustle and bustle surrounding Grant Park & Michigan Avenue will drown out the noise that’s going on in my head
Of course I’ll never tell you this
Cuz a Party of Pity I do not want

I just wanna relish in the sight, smells, and sounds of you—of “us”
I want to build our world without hesitation or reconsideration depending upon my emotional situation
If I’m sad, let me be
But fill my heart, mind, and soul with a natural and unforced peace

I appreciate all you do and your ingenuity does not go unnoticed
I just ask that if I’m haywired mentally and supremely unfocused
And if I’m feeling depressed with my peak dipped down at its lowest
As long as there are no balloons made of tears and cake dressed in sorrow
I promise that there’ll be a better day for me tomorrow
As long as it doesn't include another party

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

War of Worlds...with no "L"

War of Worlds...with no "L"

It's a contradiction

Flip it inside out and change my diction

Can't be afraid to spit due to possible verbal friction

Only the scared and fearful chose not to take such a position

L.Boogie and Jay have the ability to call out the Lost Ones

And you can do it too; just let your pen be your Top Gun

No pun…load the ammo and spit fire with words stung

And by the time the song stops, you'll be finishing up a new one.

In this war of worlds with no L

Take a step, look again and what's it spell?

Words—flows, prose, written rhythmic rhymes

Say it slow, at mid-tempo, or fast three times

Work at it, use your mental, and aim to sublime

Wanna win in this war, you can't afford to fall too far behind

With a lack luster piece

That took far too much ease

And is devoid of a steady beat

With wack lines like rhyming heat with…heat

War of words—a steady mental fight

If it's your dream, make sure it takes flight over plight

Never give up before your might sees the light

You have a brain so use it; you have that right.